I had heard that when you become a mama you always feel guilty (Am I not doing enough for my babies? Not feeding them well, not changing them enough, not avoiding the BPA’s or pesticides of the world enough, etc. etc. etc). But, what if you have two babies? What happens to that guilt when you have twins? Does it double? It has for me.
At around 1pm today, I was putting Emma and Sofia down for their afternoon nap. The bedroom that they share is on the second floor and the playroom is downstairs. They are too heavy to take up the stairs together so I have no choice but to take one baby at a time. Today, I took Emma first. She was incredibly cuddly and wanted to snuggle and burrow her face in my neck. I love it when she is like this and I desperately didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to stay with her. But Sofia was downstairs alone and unhappy, so I rested my head between Emma’s shoulder and neck, took a deep breathe of her heavenly scent, kissed her check and gently placed her down.
It seems that each hour or even minute I have to decide what is best for both my children and try to choose the option that in the end serves both girls equally. I struggle with ensuring that I don’t favour one baby over the other. Some days that’s not easy to do.
Does it ever get easier?
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