When I met my husband he totally wasn’t my type. I mean, he was a teacher, casual dresser, funny, musician, and a writer. I always thought I wanted the corporate man – a man who traveled for work, the ‘rich’ man, a serious, romantic man, an older man who would rescue me and look after me.  However, the universe had different plans for me. My core was stronger than all the outer layers, and what I thought I wanted was actually not what was best for me at all.

photo by Bard Azima

You see, Sean did rescue me in a sense except it was harder than what I expected. He has made me stand up for myself. Has taught me to fight back and to live a life that is simple and fulfilling. He has held my hand while I struggled with career choices. He’s always there to wipe my tears when I desperately miss my family and can’t bare to be apart for another day. He nurses me back to health and always gives me the most thoughtful gifts. Any man can walk into Tiffany’s and buy the latest and trendiest bracelet but very few would take a beading class to make you a necklace with a coin from a previous vacation spot because he knows that’s exactly what you would want.

I was always told not to marry for love – that love would come later. Marry for security and status and you will be happy. It never made sense to me. Marrying without love was like trying to eat when there was no food. However, now I understand what was meant by this sentiment. Marriage is hard. Raising kids together is even harder. Life in general can be tough. But I still don’t agree. I’m grateful I married for love. We don’t have a big house, we don’t drive a fancy car, we eat at home almost every night, I don’t have a cleaning lady and I don’t have a pair of Jimmy Choos. What I do have is this: a husband who loves me just as I am, a house, a reliable and comfortable car, delicious home cooked meals with my family every night and a husband who helps with all the chores and never complains if the house is unkempt.

Sean may not be the corporate man who travels the world for work. He doesn’t wear Armani suits (although when he does he’s mighty sexy) and I wouldn’t say he’s rich.  But he is a man that is home every night to eat dinner with his family, bathes his girls and helps tuck them in. He is honest, patient, educated, well traveled, amazing with his children and is extremely ‘rich’ with life experiences.

Why wasn’t a funny man on my list of ‘The Perfect Man.’? A funny man is the best kind of man. Sean has this gift to lighten up any mood and to make everyone laugh. This characteristic is invalubale in a marriage. Thanks to love and marriage today in the here and now, we are blissfully happy.

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“Do I go back to work full-time or do I stay home with my kids?”  This is a popular topic in my house these days. I have pretty much decided and I feel so thankful to have options and be able to make a choice. We have decided that for our family the best thing to do is for me to stay home until my girls are at school full-time. It will take a lot of sacrifices financially as we will have to live on a teacher’s salary, but with good money management and planning before hand I am sure we can do it. Not to say it will be easy but we feel it’s the best decision.

I feel guilty about leaving my job as my current employer has been so understanding and so supportive. But the pregnancy happened and I had no idea we would have twins. The reality in Toronto, Canada is that daycare for our two girls full-time will cost a whopping $24,000 a year. My salary after taxes is only $4,000 more. I would have to pay for transit $1,200/year, work clothes $700/year, lunches and the odd beverage. When you add it all up the decision becomes really easy to make. Also when the kids get sick, which they inevitably will, I will have to take time off and still pay for the day. Then during the summer while Sean is home and can be with them we still have to pay for the 2 months to ensure we have our spot for the following September.

You may be thinking, “why don’t you find a higher paying job?” The answer is very simple-because I really want to stay home and raise my girls. However, when they go to school full-time I plan on going back to work and starting my career at 35. I want to be a good role model for my girls and I think it’s important for them to see their mom go to work and really enjoy what she does on a daily basis.  I’ve already found a job I really love – being a mom, but now I’ve got five years to figure out what it is I’ll love to do after the girls start school . My focus and goal for now, is to enjoy everyday that I have to spend with my girls.

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I just finished reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett and on page 968 one of the main characters is reminiscing about his wives breasts and it reads…” He remembered when they had stuck out from her chest as if they were weightless, the nipples pointing out. Then, when she was pregnant, they had become bigger, and the nipples had grown larger. Now they were lower and softer, and they swung delightfully from side to side when she walked. He had loved them through all their changes.  He wondered what they would be like when she was old. Would they become shriveled and wrinkled? I’ll probably love them even then, he thought.” This stuck with me as I kept reading because this is how my oh so lovely husband feels about my breasts. He has always loved them and has told me so. Even when I can hardly stand to look at them myself in the mirror, he manages to remind me that living a full and happy life has made them this way. Becoming a mommy has changed them forever . But becoming a mommy has made me a better person and soft and sagging boobs are a reasonable price to pay.  Somtimes, I catch him sneeking a loving peek at them and  I think hey maybe there not so bad after all. Thank you Sean for loving me so fully and competely and reminding me that regradless of my shape, size or age I am still beautiful.

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