No one told me the impact a twin pregnancy would have on my body. It was hard and I can’t even remember most of last year because I spent most of my days asleep. However, when Sofia and Emma were about 4 months old, and we’d had plenty of time to bond, I thought to myself, if I only knew that they were in my belly I would have enjoyed the pregnancy so much more. I wouldn’t have minded as much…

-Throwing up 6-8 times daily for 4 months and 10 days straight

-Daily 20 minute nose bleeds consisting of massive blood clots

-Not being able to work and having to take a major pay cut at 8 weeks

-Gaining 65 pounds

-Getting horrible wide red stretch marks all over my belly regardless of slathering my body with extremely expensive preventative creams (FYI-they don’t work-it’s all genetic)

-Having trouble breathing and moving starting at around 24 weeks

-Getting terrible swelling in my feet and hands

-Being in labor for 24 hours and having to have an episiotomy

If I had only known that it was Emma and Sofia in there, not just ‘being pregnant’ I could have embraced being pregnant.

**photograph by Bard Azima at Livingface

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I just finished reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett and on page 968 one of the main characters is reminiscing about his wives breasts and it reads…” He remembered when they had stuck out from her chest as if they were weightless, the nipples pointing out. Then, when she was pregnant, they had become bigger, and the nipples had grown larger. Now they were lower and softer, and they swung delightfully from side to side when she walked. He had loved them through all their changes.  He wondered what they would be like when she was old. Would they become shriveled and wrinkled? I’ll probably love them even then, he thought.” This stuck with me as I kept reading because this is how my oh so lovely husband feels about my breasts. He has always loved them and has told me so. Even when I can hardly stand to look at them myself in the mirror, he manages to remind me that living a full and happy life has made them this way. Becoming a mommy has changed them forever . But becoming a mommy has made me a better person and soft and sagging boobs are a reasonable price to pay.  Somtimes, I catch him sneeking a loving peek at them and  I think hey maybe there not so bad after all. Thank you Sean for loving me so fully and competely and reminding me that regradless of my shape, size or age I am still beautiful.

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